attack

Attack.

No, not attack of the bunnies.

Or, killer bees.

Or, even an asthma attack.

But, an anxiety attack. My first one, I think. I think it was anxiety. But, I'm not completely sure.

I didn't realize it at the time. I thought something was wrong with me medically. It may still be, but I'll have a doctor diagnose that.

Miranda has been really sick for the past couple of days. It could be lack of sleep and me not feeling 100% myself either. I got out of bed, yesterday morning with a splitting headache. When I mean splitting, I mean like someone was taking a tire iron and a hammer and literly splitting my head in two. It hurt from the back of head/neck area and wrapped all the back to the front, just above my eyes. My neck was stiff. I was sick to my stomach because the intense pain. I've never experienced a pain in my head like that before. I was scared because I was alone, besides Miranda. I couldn't even turn my head. I got up to make a cup of coffee to see if a little caffeine would help. Took 2 motrin. Would have taken more except I didn't think I would have kept them down. If you know what I mean. Not working. Pain was still there. I got in the shower and let the hot water hit my neck and shoulders. As I'm standing in the shower, I start to see floaters in my eyes. My legs are weak and feel like they can't support me. Things slowly are going black. I feel very uneasy and not in control of my body. I quickly turn off the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I sat down immediately. I can't breathe. Gasping for air. Gasp! My heart is pounding what feels like through my chest. Scared. Gasp. Pound. I try to yell out to Miranda to get me the phone. I can't breathe. Hard to talk. My voice is very hoarse and inaudible. She gets it to me and I dial the fire station. Thank goodness someone I know answers. He tells me David is not there, but will get him on the radio to call home immediately. Gasp. Pound. Gasp. David finally calls and in between gasps he tells me to call our neighbor or he's calling 911. I hang up and call our neighbor. Miranda tells her to come over, mommy needs help. Gasp. Gasp. Pound. I can't believe this is happening. I feel like my throat is closing up, slowly.......gasp. Miranda opens the door and our neighbor rushes in. She lays me down and rubs my head and tells me to breathe, calm down, just breathe. I'm still gasping and trying to tell her what's going on. After about 10 min. I finally am calm and breathing normally. David has called twice and Cindy has spoken to him and told him I'm okay. But, he left work and is on his way home anyhow.

I still don't know if it was the intense pain I was feeling and my body was reacting in such an overpowering way, or if I was having an anxiety attack.

I've been experiencing pain in my shoulder/back with numbness in my left arm and fingers. David thinks I may have a pinched nerve. That may have caused the pain in my head/neck. Or it might be anxiety.

Just to make sure it's not medical, I will get it checked out.

I don't want to gasp for air again.

I hope it's not anxiety.

No more attacks now, but of wishes.

Wishes to all of my friends that are mother's.

Happy Mother's Day. May each and every one of you

have a wonderful and relaxing day to do what you choose!

XO